


Lover, You Should've Come Over (My Kingdom for a Kiss Upon Her Shoulder)

by Draco_sollicitus



Series: Damerey Tumblr Collection [9]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Assumption of Infidelity, F/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstanding, Poe Is Trying His Best But Sometimes, Tumblr Prompt, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 15:39:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16558529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draco_sollicitus/pseuds/Draco_sollicitus
Summary: When Rey comes to him with startling news, a misunderstanding causes Poe to assume the worst; and by the time he realizes the truth, it might be too late to apologize to the Jedi.





	1. To keep good love from going wrong

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on tumblr a while back and kept meaning to upload it here!
> 
> [it's very angsty]
> 
> Original tumblr prompt (chosen from a list of starter quotes)
> 
> 35: “About the baby…it’s yours” and 41: “I’m pregnant”

“Poe? Can we talk?” 

Poe Dameron rolled out from underneath Black One and wiped his hands on a cloth. Rey smiled down at him, and he smiled back easily. Gods, she was so pretty. “Sure thing, Jedi.” He stood and tossed the dirty rag over in the corner of his station. “What about?”

“We should talk about it in private,” Rey said, her eyes downcast. Sudden anxiety curled through his gut - was she sick? Did she have another vision? Was the general sending her away again? Poe nodded and kept smiling at her, holding his hand out for her to take. Rey slipped her fingers through his, and her smile was a little less tight as they walked to a private office in the corner of the hangar bay. He closed the door securely behind them and sat on the desk. Rey remained standing, her arms folded over her stomach.

“What’s this about, Sunshine?” Poe frowned now, the anxiety too much when he saw how red Rey’s eyes were, like she’d been crying. When she spoke, her voice wavered, confirming his suspicion. 

“I need to leave,” she whispered, one hand on her abdomen. She must feel sick. Poe lurched forward with concern, already prepared to beg her to stay, to let him go with her - “I need to -” she laughed and wiped her eyes. “Gods, I’m doing this wrong.”

“Take a deep breath sweetheart, and tell me however you need to tell me,” Poe said encouragingly. 

“I’m pregnant,” Rey said, cheeks bright pink. Poe’s world fell out from underneath him - how many times had they slept together in that way? They shared a bunk every night, finding it the best solution to their respective nightmares, both of them appreciating the human company and conversation - but they’d been physically intimate seven times in the last four months. He’d had a mission off-base for eight weeks, and then she’d had a mission, and most nights they were too tired to do anything but cuddle.

Rey wasn’t talking, so his brain kept spiraling. She was pregnant - not ideal, but hells, he’d been born in a war, lived with his grandfather - Kes would take care of the baby, he knew, Kes would love to have a baby around, Poe would have to confirm that, but he couldn’t see a way around it; he and Rey weren’t official, no matter how much Black Squadron, Finn, Chewbacca, and Leia all teased him, but maybe she’d marry him? Then he’d have to tell her he was in love with her, but gods, she was pregnant, how awkward could it be to confess his love for her now, and -

Rey was crying. “Kylo Ren wants the baby,” she sobbed, covering her mouth. “He feels some sort of - I don’t even know, but Ben wants it, and he can’t have it, so I need to leave.”

Kylo - why the kriff would Kylo Ren even know about her pregnancy? What? Unless - 

The domestic vision Poe had constructed at the beginning of Rey’s confession shattered. They’d never said they were exclusive. Rey had met with Kylo several times in that weird Force Bond they shared. Months ago, Rey had told him herself that she’d had conflicting romantic feelings for Kylo back before Crait. Who knows if she’d actually, physically met with him during her last mission - Poe swallowed, hard, fought back the heartbreak, focused on Rey’s agony. She didn’t want Kylo near her child. That was all he needed to know.

“Okay,” Poe said firmly, nodding. “He won’t get the baby, Rey, it’ll be okay. We’ll get you off-base, somewhere near a Med-Center that’s loyal to the Resistance, and, and then -”

“And then we’ll never see each other again?” Rey asked, wiping her eyes and laughing. “Gods, Poe, it’s -”

“It’s not ideal,” Poe said. It really karking wasn’t. “But you’ll be okay. I know you will. This war’s almost over, anyway.” It might almost be over, it might not. Wars were strange that way. The Resistance had turned the tide at Naboo last year, but there was no way of knowing if they’d lose their upper hand. Finn had trained with Rey to be a Jedi though, and he’d be able to help any Force-Sensitives that came their way while Rey was - when Rey -

“So you agree.” Rey folded her arms around herself, her face twisted with misery. Poe’s heart begged him to hold her, but he was too proud. Gods, he’d been such a fool to think she’d want any sort of future with him. She was brilliant, beautiful, and so, so young. Poe Dameron hadn’t done anything to deserve Rey, founder of the New Jedi, sweet and kind Rey, wonderful, perfect, magnificent - 

“Agree?” Poe made a face at her. “Why would it matter if I agree or not? I’ll support the decisions you make for your baby.” That was all he could do, all he had the right to do.

“My baby?” Rey looked at him oddly, and Poe smiled at her kindly. 

“Yeah. We’ll get you two off-world. Kylo will never find you. You can go dark, pick any one of our classified safe planets to go to. I’ll have Leia set it up.” Poe frowned, then. “Does Leia know?”

“She was with me in Med-Bay when I found out,” Rey laughed and wiped her eyes, looking sad. “She was the one who encouraged me to tell you.”

“Why would you need encouraging?” Poe asked. _Why would you need to tell me at all_ , his broken heart whispered. “I mean, it’s not…great…but you’ll be okay. You’ll always be okay.” Rey looked at him, new tears welling in her eyes, and he coughed. She probably wanted privacy. “I’ll uh - I’ll leave you alone now. But thank you for telling me.” Poe nodded, gripping his flight gloves in one hand and left the office.

And if he broke three regulation punching bags in the training room that evening, well hey, he’d had a shit day.

***

“Aren’t you going to see Rey off?” Finn asked him in the Control room. Poe sighed and turned to face his friend, the word  _buddy,_ dying on his lips the second he saw the thunderous look Finn was wearing.

“Uh - I said goodbye to her already.” Poe shrugged and went back to his nav-map. A hand reached out and slammed the monitor face-down.

“She cried for six hours last night,” Finn said coldly. Poe turned to frown at him, his heart screaming at him to get out of his kriffing seat and run to Rey, right now, stop her from crying. But Poe wasn’t the one she wanted, the one she - 

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Poe said as neutrally as possible. 

“She cried for six hours _after you said goodbye to her,_  “ Finn said murderously. Poe stood up and crossed his arms over his chest defensively while Finn kept talking. “But I guess you wouldn’t care about that, huh?”

“I do care about it,” Poe argued. “I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that information.”

“Make a better karking decision?” Finn snarled. Poe blinked in surprise - he’d been best friends with Finn for almost two years now, and he’d never heard the ex-trooper raise his voice outside a battle. “She needs you, you complete asshole.” Poe didn’t say anything, the truth of _I need her more than anything_  burning in his throat. Finn scoffed. “You know, I’ve been defending you for years against everyone who said you were just a cocky flyboy who only cared about yourself and glory. ‘Poe’s not like that,’ I’ve been saying. ‘He’s the kindest person I know.’ But that was clearly a pile of banthashit because the best person you and I know is currently sitting in a transpo, about to disappear from our lives, maybe forever, and you don’t even care.”

“I do care,” Poe snapped. “Fuck, Finn, of course I care. I care so much I can’t think or see straight. I haven’t been able to sleep since she told me she was leaving.” _Because she hasn’t been sleeping with me,_ he excluded from that statement. 

“So why are you letting her leave?” Finn demanded. Poe opened his mouth and promptly closed it, his hand dragging through his hair. 

“Because she needs to get that baby away from the father,” he landed on. Finn have him a look of total exasperation. 

“Are you fucking kidding me-” Finn was interrupted by a sad chirp from BB-8, who’d just rolled up. Poe held a hand out to pause Finn, and he knelt down at his droid’s side. 

“Hey buddy,” he said, trying to smile at Beebee and definitely failing. “What’s up?”

[I have a message from Savior-Rey] Beebee said. [But I am not supposed to play it for you until she leaves.] 

“Why do you sound so sad about that?” Poe asked, rubbing its shiny dome. 

[Because I want to obey Savior-Rey, but it contains information Master-Poe might find pertinent.]

“Play it.” Finn spoke for Poe, and Poe stood, frowning, as Beebee played a recording of Rey’s voice. 

“ _Hello,”_ Rey whispered into the recording. “ _It’s me. I mean, obviously. Uhm, so I’m sitting here, about to take-off, and Rose said goodbye, and Jess, and Snap, and Iolo, and Kare - even Beebee came by. I’d say I was waiting for you flyboy, but I think you understand my reasons for not wanting to wait around for anyone, no matter how much I …”_ Rey trailed off, and Poe winced at the reminder of her fifteen lonely years on Jakku. “ _I had the oddest thought last night, of why you might be avoiding me. At first, I thought you just didn’t care, but that didn’t make sense with everything I know about you. But then I had my second thought after you said goodbye, and it hurt, to believe you’d think so little of me, so I guess that’s why I didn’t march down to your room and shake some sense into you. But, I also don’t want you going through life thinking that of me, so I’ll have Beebee play this for you later, once …. I don’t even know. I’m sure he’ll figure out the right time, right Bee?”_ The droid rolled back and forth guiltily, and Poe sat back against the desk, hand covering his mouth. Rey sounded close to tears in the recording, and Poe was crying from it, crying from the knowledge that she thought he didn’t care about her. “ _So, I’ll just - I’ll start by saying of course I didn’t sleep with Kylo. I’m sure he wanted to, and at one point, back before I really knew who I was, I would have - ugh. Just. That’s not what I wanted to talk about. I wanted you to know - and maybe you already knew, maybe you acted like this anyway, maybe you aren’t who I thought you were -”_ Rey’s voice cracked unbearably, and Poe found himself sliding down to the floor, a noise not unlike a terrible wind rushing through his ears. “ _You should know about the baby … it’s yours, Poe. Of course it’s yours. You’re the only person I’ve ever loved like this, and the only person I’ve shared… that … with. I can’t believe you’d think otherwise, that you didn’t let me explain - or worse, you did understand, and you just didn’t care. I am so, so angry with you. But. Um. I’ll try to - to raise the baby well. And I’ll tell him or her all about you, about their famous father who loved to fly more than anything else.”_ But that wasn’t kriffing true - Poe staggered to his feet, ready to sprint to the hangar bay, to explain to her that there was something - some _one -_ that he loved more than flying; but Rey was still speaking. “ _I hope you have a happy life, Dameron. I lo- oh, nevermind. Goodbye, Poe.”_

The transmission cut out, and Poe hurtled for the door: her flight was scheduled to take off in five minutes, he could make it, he could call ahead and tell them to ground her flight, oh gods, he’d made a horrible mistake and - 

“Commander Rey to Resistance Central.” Rey’s voice issued from Connix’s computer. “Approaching atmo, ahead of schedule.”

“Roger that, Commander,” Connix said. She eyed Poe at the exit and frowned at him, obviously not understanding the look of horror on his face. “All clear for your jump.”

“No!” Poe shouted, reaching out to Kaydel, begging her with his eyes to stop this, to stop Rey, to turn that kriffing ship around. 

“See you on the other side,” Rey laughed sadly. “Well, actually, I won’t. Jumping now.”

“Good luck, Commander.” A hum filled the transmission, and Connix nodded after a second. “She’s gone.”

Poe collapsed against the nearest console and stared at the floor in horror as Connix announced Rey’s status as ‘dark.’  

Poe stood there, slumped over the console, shaking. She was gone. He’d let her leave, and she was out there, Maker knew where, thinking he didn’t care about her. 

He stumbled to the nearest communal ‘fresher and vomited until there was nothing left. Finn stood in the doorway, quiet fury on his face, and when it was clear that Poe was done being sick, he nodded once and walked away, leaving Poe with yet another indelible, terrible mistake that he’d made, one that he might not ever undo. 


	2. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe finally finds Rey.

In the following weeks, which bled into months, Finn didn’t speak to Poe. He understood, rationally, why his friend refused to make eye contact with him, why he got up from the table when Poe sat down - it just didn’t make it hurt any less. Poe was already lying awake at night in his bunk, clutching his mother’s necklace, unable to breathe from grief, begging the Force to bring Rey back, to let him find her - Finn’s patented “Pretend Poe Dameron Doesn’t Exist” campaign wasn’t helping matters.

Rose, at least, had more sympathy. “You’re a kriffing idiot,” she’d told him ferociously the day after Rey left.

“I know,” Poe said miserably, clanging his head against the side of the X-Wing they were both stationed at. He’d almost skipped his duties today, but Beebee had adamantly zapped him until he got out of bed. He didn’t pick his head up from the durasteel hull, and a warm hand wrapped around his arm. He looked over to see Rose smiling up at him, her eyes still angry, but the anger was combined with kindness. 

“Now, how are we going to bring her back?” Rose asked. Poe smiled back at her weakly, his first smile since Rey had told him she was pregnant, and let his small friend lead him over to a holo-screen where she’d already begun calculations. 

Ten weeks later, and no sign of Rey - no stations they’d checked with had taken in a new member recently (”But wouldn’t they lie and tell us she wasn’t there, anyway?” Poe had pointed out. Rose had calmly answered, “If she hears you’re looking for her, she’ll contact _us._ Dummy.” Poe didn’t want to question the confidence in Rose’s response - half out of fear of Rose Tico, and half out of hope that it was true), no whispers of Jedi activity, and absolutely no budging by Leia Organa, the only person who did know where Rey had gone. 

She found him one day, curled up in the little utility closet Rey had converted into a scavenging station, ten miserable weeks after the Jedi had left. He was trying to catch even the slightest hint of Rey - the smell of her hair, an echo of her laugh - and he was crying well before the general walked in. He wiped his face hastily and stood at attention, well aware tears were still leaking out of his eyes. 

Leia sat down on a crate near the door, and rested her cane in front of her. She regarded him heavily, but Poe waited for her to speak, his eyes boring a hole into the wall in front of him. “At ease, Commander,” she sighed, and Poe relaxed slightly. She patted the crate next to her, and he tripped over himself on his way to sit. Poe wiped his face one more time, and Leia’s wrinkled hand gripped his shoulder. It was like she’d cut something loose inside him, and he sobbed, a harsh, angry sound. The older woman rested her hand in his hair and gently guided his head down to her shoulder, where he cried, brokenly, for minutes. 

When his breathing had quieted down, he could feel her expectantly waiting for him to say something. Poe wiped his nose hastily and sat up. Leia raised her eyebrows at him, and he fidgeted with his hands, unsure of where to start.

“You have one question,” she said calmly. “And I’ll give you one answer, but only if it doesn’t betray her trust.”

Poe reeled for a second - the obvious question was _where is she?_ but that wouldn’t meet the terms Leia had just given him. “Is-” he croaked, and cleared his throat quickly. “Is she okay? Is she healthy?” _Is she happy_  went unsaid. 

Leia gave him an appraising look but then nodded curtly, tapping her cane on the floor. “I talked to her two days ago. She’s healthy. They both are.” Poe wept again, his face buried in his hands. Rey was okay - theirbaby was okay. She hated him, but she was alive, and ~~their~~ her baby was okay. He could - he could live with that. He’d have to live with that.

She’d said one question, but he pushed his luck because that’s what he did. As Leia was moving to stand, he gripped her sleeve the way a child would; when she looked down, her expression wasn’t unkind. “How far along is she?” He asked breathlessly. Leia’s eyes softened, and she reached out to cup his cheek. 

“Twenty-four weeks,” she answered, her hand soft and warm on his face. “And that’s enough questions, Commander.” Leia left him then in the closet that had belonged to Rey, to think about the woman he loved and his child, out in the galaxy somewhere far, far away from him.

Twenty-four weeks. The number slammed into Poe over and over again while he walked to his station later that day. He counted meticulously backward in his head - he and Rey had only made love seven times - more if you counted stolen, quiet, happy moments in his bunk that ended with her sighing his name, her nails digging into his wrist or scalp - _no, don’t think_ _about that, not if you want to be useful at all today_ -  he counted over and over again even though he _knew_ the second Leia had given him the number, he knew when it had been. The second to last time they’d managed to fall together completely was - 

Fourteen weeks - two, short months -  before Rey had left. It was right before she’d taken off on an mission, and he had caught her by the hand after dinner, whispered in her ear, led her to his bunk, and pressed her into the mattress, trying to demonstrate with his body all of the things his voice couldn’t quite say, yet, the things he was too afraid to say in the grip of a war that threatened constantly to take both of their lives, to steal the future he so desperately wanted for them.

He didn’t have to wrack his brain to know what was different about twenty four weeks ago - something almost … mystical had happened, when they both cried out at the same time. Objects in the room had levitated, a golden, soft glow emanated from both of them, and a sense of intense purpose had washed over him as he gazed down at the woman he loved. “Is that you?” he had breathed, as the galaxy slid into place, locked, around them. 

“It’s us,” Rey had answered, laughing lightly and leaning up to kiss over his heart, and then along his throat. Poe had surrendered with a groan, kissing her passionately, their breath intermingling, his body refusing to leave hers, even though it’d done its job admirably already. 

Twenty-four weeks ago, they’d made a child - and fourteen weeks after that, he’d ruined their chance at making a family. 

He’d never forgive himself.

* * *

A week after his conversation with Leia, Poe was standing in Central Command. He’d managed to shave this morning, after Rose steadfastly refused to call him anything but “Chewbacca,” for the last two days, and even bathed - with water, not sonic. Finn had actually looked at him during breakfast, and hadn’t gotten up from the table when he sat down, which made Rose beam and kiss her boyfriend on the cheek. Hopefully one day, Finn wouldn’t have to be coerced by the love of his life into being in Poe’s vicinity, but it was a step in the right direction.

He was chatting idly with Snap about mods to the new set of X-Wings they’d managed to get from a sympathetic Core World supplier when the transmission came in.

“Distress signal,” Connix announced, her fingers already flying over her holo-pad. “Projecting now. It’s from Designation Bravo - Papa - Romeo.”

Leia paled and raised her hand to silence a gaggle of junior officers in the corner who hadn’t heard Connix. Poe straightened up and listened to the transmission, the grainy quality interspersed with the distant sound of explosions.

“This is –tenant Rels– of the Resistance. Our base is — attack. First Order —gies spotted thr—ntes ago. Attack commenced imm–tely. This is not a mil—-ase. We informe—em that we are refugees, mostly women and childr— but they proceed–to–tack. Requesting immediate back—–ay the Force be with —-” A longer, horrible sound of static filled the transmission. 

Leia turned from the screen, and Poe saw she was fidgeting with the golden dice she kept in her pocket. “Gold, Black, and Red Squadrons, you will assist immediately. Your astromechs will receive the coordinates to prepare you for the jump.” Connnix moved to alert the droids, and Snap and Poe nodded; they turned to leave. “Commander Dameron, report to me first.” 

Poe walked over to Leia, his heart already hammering with typical pre-battle adrenaline. He itched to get in his bird, to do some kirffing good for once, to help-

Leia was terrified, and his world narrowed down to that fact. “What is it, General?” Poe asked, his legs screaming at him to run to the hangar, now. His squadron was waiting for him. 

“Base Designation Bravo - Papa - Romeo,” Leia tensed her mouth for less than a millisecond before shattering what was left of Poe Dameron’s carefully constructed control. “It’s the base Rey went to, Poe. Kylo must know where she is.” Poe staggered, and Leia grabbed his elbow. “You needed to know. When you get there and if it’s clear enough - extract her. If it’s not too-” She stopped herself, but Poe knew what she meant. If it’s not too late. 

He refused to accept that it could be too late. Poe nodded before sprinting for the door, ignoring the twinge in his back that he accrued the last time he’d sprinted like this for his X-Wing, the time a plume of fire had snatched away the lives of dozens of his friends, had destroyed the Resistance’s fleet - no. Today wasn’t going to go that way. 

He made it to the hangar the same time Snap did, despite his near-minute head start. “Power up those engines, Beebee,” he called to his droid. It chirped in affirmation, and he felt Black One hum to life. “Alright, Black Squadron, we gotta clear the air, and then I need to retrieve something on the ground. Cover me as much as you can when I’m down there, but what I’m getting is more important than me.” Poe flipped the sequence of switches to engage his primary ion thrusters, and his squadron called back to confirm they were ready to fly. None of them asked what he had meant - they’d followed stranger commands from him. 

They shot off from the hangar, and the second they broke atmo, Poe ordered, “Punch it, Beebee!” The streak of blue in Hyperspace wrapped around them, and Poe breathed in through his nose, out through his mouth, willing himself to calm down, refusing to conceive an image in his mind of Rey, pregnant and trapped below a First Order assault - “How much longer, BB-8?” Poe called back, and his droid squawked in indignation. Soon enough, apparently. 

With a lurching kick, they dropped out of Hyperspace, and his squadron appeared behind him. “Going down. Keep tight to the surface, Black Two and Three, and clear any activity near the base. Black Four and Five, keep high, knock out any on our tail.” 

“Wilco, Black One,” Jess shouted. “We’ve got your back.” 

Poe gripped his controls and dived down into atmo, praying to the Force to give him luck just one more time, to get him through this at least until he knew Rey was safe, to -

They reached the coordinates of the base, and all around were the scattered remains of TIE-fighters. 

“Did Gold Squadron beat us here?” Kare called out uncertainly. Poe shook his head, forgetting oddly that she couldn’t see him. 

“Incoming!” Snap shouted. Two TIEs screamed towards them - but they weren’t heading for them, they were heading for -

 A T-65, which performed a perfect barrel roll, and shot back towards them with frightening speed, not changing course. 

“They’re going to run right into them!” Snap shouted. Poe engaged his cannon and pointed it at the TIEs, but the T-65 banked a hard left and blew them out of the sky before they could do anything. The ancient X-Wing did a lap, and he could see the helmeted figure looking around, searching for any more enemies.

Seeing none, the X-Wing headed for the ground. “Does any one else feel…unnecessary?” Jess asked. Poe snorted and guided his X-Wing to follow the T-65. As he got closer, his landing gear extended, he spotted an R2 unit in the back. 

That was…weird. He didn’t think they made…R2s….anymore. And it looked awfully familiar - 

He disengaged the lock on his canopy and climbed out of Black One. “Stay here, BB-8,” he ordered, a command his droid promptly ignored, dropping down and rolling after him. Poe rolled his eyes, checked his blaster in case any more unfriendlies showed up, and walked towards the T-65, whose canopy was currently opening. Black Squadron touched down behind him. “Stay in your ships,” Poe ordered. “We might have more company.” 

“Roger that,” Snap said. Poe kept walking until he was right in front of the other X-Wing.

“Great flying,” he complimented. “We didn’t think this was a military operation.” 

The pilot muttered a curse, and Poe frowned up at them. They hadn’t taken their helmet off yet, and they weren’t moving. 

“Why don’t you come down,” he suggested. “Do a debrief, and then we can make sure your people are okay.” The pilot grumbled something else before shrugging. They smacked the release on their belt and rose fluidly. The jumpsuit they wore was loose in the shoulders, obviously borrowed, but it hugged their curves. A woman, then, and she raised her hands to her helmet and lifted it, shaking her hair out. 

Poe stared in shock. 

“Rey?” He said, tripping forward. “Rey, what are you –”

“Oh shit,” Jess whispered into the comms. “Oh _shit.”_

“This is awkward,” Snap muttered. 

Poe ignored them and raised his hand up to help Rey down. She swatted it away and climbed the ladder on her own, standing before him with her arms crossed in front of her chest. 

“I had everything under control,” she said coldly. “No need for you all to waste your time.”

“We didn’t-” Poe couldn’t stop staring. “You-” A thousand emotions rippled through him, and he didn’t know which one to focus on. 

Rey rolled her eyes and unzipped her flight suit, stepping out of it. She was wearing a soft tunic and leggings, the fabric around her abdomen revealing an undeniable bump. 

“You’re so big,” Poe breathed, his hands lifting unconsciously.

“I beg your pardon?” Rey snapped.

Black Squadron groaned in unison over the comms.

 “I thought the commander was supposed to be a player?” Kare snorted. “Legendary silvertongue, they said.”

“Beautiful-” Poe corrected himself hastily. “You’re so beautiful.” Rey shook her head and stormed away, and Poe stumbled after her. “Rey, wait -”

“I need to make sure everyone in the base is fine,” Rey snapped, waving her hand at him like he was a pesky insect. “Go away, Dameron, I’ll send my debrief to the general later.”

“No, Rey, please, talk to me,” Poe begged. The surface of the planet was muddy, and he lost his footing, tripped, landing on his knees. The sound got Rey to turn around, and well, he was in the best position to do this already. “Please, sweetheart, please talk to me. I made the biggest fucking mistake of my life, letting you go, please, you gotta-”

“Gotta what?” Rey snapped. “I don’t need to do anything, Dameron. You made your sentiments very clear. You want nothing to do with me, and I don’t need you to apologize about it now.” Poe gaped at her, and to his horror he saw tears in her eyes. “Just go back to central, and leave me alone.” She turned again, and he scrambled to his feet, now covered in mud. 

“Baby, please,” Poe slid forward another few feet, and Rey froze, not looking at him. “I missed you, every fucking second of every kriffing day you were gone. You left before I could get to you, I - I misunderstood, sweetheart. I thought - I thought-”

“You thought I’d cheated on you with the Supreme Leader, and that he’d knocked me up?” Rey pivoted while she said this, her voice pitching upwards into a scream by the end.

“Ohhhhhh _shit,”_ Jess muttered. “Oh fuck, Commander, what did you do?”

“That’s enough,” Poe barked. Rey stiffened in anger, and he held his hands out. “No, no, no, not you, sweetheart, please -” Rey made to turn around again, and Poe lurched forward, hands raised in supplication. He fell to his knees again - _what the fuck is wrong with this planet? why doesn’t anyone else seem to be tripping?_  - and clasped his hands together beggingly. “I - I don’t think that anymore - “

“Oh, how generous of you,” Rey sneered, her hand covering her stomach protectively. Poe swallowed, tried not to stare at it, at the life she was growing inside of her. “How absolutely forgiving of you.”

“I fucked up,” Poe said, dragging muddy hands through his hair, tearing at his roots. “Please, Rey - I - I shouldn’t have let you go, but I thought it’s what you wanted, thought you didn’t want me around, especially not if you were-”

“Pregnant with a Sith Lord’s Force-Baby?” Rey scoffed. 

“I didn’t care about that,” Poe said, his breath catching. Rey stared down at him, her hazel eyes angry and hurt, and he dropped his head, unable to look at her anymore, his shoulders sagging. “I didn’t - I wouldn’t care if it were true, Rey, and I wouldn’t care if you had slept with him. I was always so shocked that you’d settled for me at all, that you’d given any time at all to me. It was your body, and your life, and I had no right to dictate any of it, and I just wanted to support you.”

“You pushed me away,” Rey said, her voice breaking. Poe looked up, and saw that she was crying to match his own tears. “You - you made me think you didn’t trust me, that you didn’t care about me.”

“That’s just not true,” Poe insisted. “Kriff, Rey, I care about you more than anything else in the galaxy. You and - and our little - your -” He sagged again. “I love you both so much, Rey, and I need you to know that, I can’t have you living your life thinking that I didn’t- that I wouldn’t - I love you, and I loved you before we made that baby, and I loved you for all the days in between, and I loved you when I thought it wasn’t my baby - I love you, and…and I’m sorry that I fucked this all up, and I…” he trailed off, his throat closing from the knowledge that this was probably the last time he’d ever see her again. 

“Does anyone have bang-corn?” Snap whispered. Four voices hissed at him to shut the kriff up.

“Stand up,” Rey said. Poe nodded miserably and complied, his feet slipping a little more. He had no idea what he looked like - probably frightful, mud-splattered from head to toe, wild eyed, panting - and Rey stared at him with an unfathomable expression in her eyes. 

“I’ll go now,” he said softly, tears burning at the back of his throat. “I’ll go, and I’ll leave you alone. Just - I’m sorry, and I love you, and could you please tell him or her that I love them too?”

Poe began to turn, but Rey grabbed his arm. “If you walk away from me right now, every horrible thing I’ve thought about you for the last fifty-seven days, twelve hours, and six minutes will have been true.”

Poe faced her, disbelief blooming in his stomach. Rey lifted her eyebrows at him, her hand on her hip. “Well?” She demanded. “Were they true? Or are you the man I thought you were before you let me go? Because you’re going to have to stick around and convince me of that, now. If you’re up for it.” Her eyes flashed in defiance, but also in hurt and insecurity and fear, and all the awful things that were his fault. 

“Wild rancors couldn’t drag me away,” Poe said, eyes wide as he took her in, this perfect, beautiful woman who was offering him - maybe not a second chance, but a way to earn a second chance. “Maker, Rey -”

“C’mere, flyboy.” Rey held her arms out, and Poe staggered forward into them, holding her tightly, marveling at the way her stomach pressed against his, the evidence of how much he loved her - 

Black Squadron cheered loudly into the comms, wolf-whistling and hollering. Poe flicked them off behind his back before pulling Rey closer to him, one of his hands drifting to hover over her stomach. She nodded in consent, and Poe stroked his thumb over the side of her belly, and he laughed shakily. 

“Thank you,” he murmured into her hair. He kissed the side of her head and wrapped her up even more tightly in his arms. “Thank you, Sunshine.”

“Don’t ever let me go again,” Rey threatened. “Or I will kick your ass to the Hosnian system.”

“Deal,” Poe laughed again, burying his face in her shoulder. 

Suddenly, a thought dawned on him, and his spine stiffened.

“Rey,” he growled, straightening up. She quirked her brow at him. “Rey - what the _fuck_ were you doing flying like that? You could have _died!”_

“Oh, that’s rich!” Rey shouted back. “You don’t get to skip out on my life for months and then swoop back in and tell me how I should be-”

They argued back and forth for another ten minutes, Black Squadron ooh-ing and aah-ing like it was a Limmie match, before they settled the fight as a draw.

(Okay. Rey won.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dooooooooo you want the angsty alternate ending? The one that's never been published?

**Author's Note:**

> oh, Poe
> 
>  
> 
> [this has two potential endings - a happy one that I posted on tumblr, and a much more angsty one that I wrote and never published.....]


End file.
